


Hellebore

by collapsingStars



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Aged up characters, Alternate Universe - No Metaverse (Persona 5), Both by dicks and on purpose, Falling In Love, Flirting, Funeral, M/M, Misgendering, Murder, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, The PT are not so much a thing, Trans Character, general criminal activity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26131177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collapsingStars/pseuds/collapsingStars
Summary: “If that’s the case, then would it be fair to say that fate would have arranged our meeting another way?” Goro asked.“Who’s to say? You can’t predict fate, but I sure hope we would have run into each other again.”  Joker’s grin was audible through his phrasing, and Goro felt like he knew exactly what it would look like, even if they’d never met face to face.“Hmmm. You’re so intriguing. You always give me new things to think about.” Goro responded.“You flatter me, Detective. While Navi’s scrambling our phone call - can I ask you a question?” Joker asked. “What are you planning on doing after Masayoshi Shido is dead?”
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 10
Kudos: 96





	Hellebore

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely inspired by [Two Black Cadillacs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVEBZLrjpw4).

Of course Masayoshi Shido would somehow get away with an emperor-level funeral, the self-important prick. 

_“...Beautiful words and sentiment was shared by his colleagues at the funeral service for Masayoshi Shido which was televised just a moment ago…”_

Goro listened quietly in the back seat of the black Lexus that strolled in the long procession through the streets of Japan. It was only the early afternoon, but with the near pitch black windows that protected the car and his own veil, it felt like a pleasant early evening. His phone buzzed in his pocket. 

_ >JK: Can this car go any slower? _Goro smirked. 

_ >C: You’re not savoring the experience? _

There wasn’t a reply. Goro couldn’t bring himself to care. There would be plenty of time later to talk. 

_“... He was one of Japan’s finest, and had such promise as Japan’s newest prime-minister...”_ The radio played back the speeches of Shido’s bought-off political lackeys, all pomp and circumstance, all feinting grief and promising things which even the man himself had no intention of actually doing. Goro knew it would be rude to ask the driver to change the station or turn off the radio. He was a good actor - but he was sure if he tried to feint his grief that he would break down into giggles and give himself away. 

  
  


* * *

Cruelty had many forms. It included killing a woman with a pre-teen daughter. It included a mother killing herself because she couldn’t stand life with a bastard son. It included deceiving people that all Goro was, was a lucky, too-smart, kid detective. 

It included a literal mountain of paperwork of cold-file cases to organize because he hadn’t been able to track down the culprit behind Madarame’s murder, which was more about the sudden lack of funds for Shido, than the man himself. Especially since he was on Goro’s hit list anyway, and someone had beat him to it before Shido was ready. Understandably Shido was pissed, so he had the SUI director give Akechi as MUCH work as possible. On top of continuing to investigate the murder, and continuing to assassinate people, and pass his second year college finals.

Election season couldn’t come fast enough. 

Akechi let out a sigh, and shifted another stack of case files to the floor. He dropped them a short distance, and down the hall he heard a terrible _SLAM._ Which… shouldn’t have been possible. He was the last one in the office. And it was two in the morning. On a Sunday. 

He stopped moving and listened quietly. He entertained quietly that Shido had sent the cleaner to kill him. Which would be premature, since he was entrenched enough to know that other than the cleaner, Shido didn’t have anyone else assassinating for him. Akechi was his perfect golden boy, and Akechi had made sure of that. 

He couldn’t hear anything else, probably because they too were staying silent, wondering if they had given themselves away. Akechi reached quickly to his side and loaded his gun, taking silent steps down the hall to where he heard the noise.The silence persisted, but as he crept closer, he noticed that the door to the SUI directors office was open. Which was, in fact, impossible at this hour. 

So someone _was_ here. Akechi considered calling for help, since there should have been a few overnight officers stationed at the bottom floor of the building, but he was sure that the commotion would just cause the perpetrator to flee. So would solely Akechi catching them in the act, but at the very least Akechi might be able to force them to admit their motive on the security cameras that had likely already caught their break in, and his own testimony. In a quick stroke of inspiration, he unlocked his phone screen and opened a recording app and pressed start. If Sae had taught him anything about working _actual_ crime, it was about thinking long term and what would make a criminal sink deepest. 

Pity her weird change of heart his senior year to go from a promising prosecutor to a lowly defense attorney. He respected her still, but he had to be wary she didn’t defend anyone connected to the conspiracy now with the notoriety she had gained. And Shido was getting ever more bold the closer elections came. 

Akechi was beginning to think the perpetrator had already fled, as he waited outside the director’s office, gun aimed. He might have been too slow, when movement caught the corner of his eye. Something moved behind the desk. 

“This is Detective Akechi Goro. Come out with your hands up,” he said to the dark air. 

“ _Prrrrr_ meow?” came his answer. 

“What the fuck…?” Goro lowered his gun and watched as a black and white tuxedo cat came strolling out from behind the desk, running it’s chin along the edge of the desk. It looked quite pleased with itself, and Goro holstered the gun, squatted down, and reached his hand out to the cat. It strolled forward and butted it’s head against his hand, and Goro picked it up. It had on a thin yellow collar, but no tag. 

“An odd stray hmm? How the hell did you get in here?” The cat snuggled into him, and he started to look around the room for how the cat could’ve gotten in here. It was quite possible that the door had not been locked, and the slam he heard was the cat falling from some place, as unlikely that seemed. In fact, it did seem unlikely. The cat should’ve been freaked out by it’s fall and a yelp, or meow, or a running fit would’ve likely ensued. Especially since a slam of that magnitude meant he'd fallen from the ceiling and taken some of it with him. The HVAC ducts were the only possible way the cat could’ve gotten in anyway. Goro shifted the cat into his right arm, to keep his shooting arm free. He slowly gave a glance to the ceiling and turned inspecting where the cat could’ve fallen from. Sure enough, a large chunk of the ceiling tiles had fallen to ground in the corner near the window. 

But with this tiny cat, there’s no way the thick fiber material would be in pieces like this. No - it would take something much heavier to create the slam and the breakage. 

Goro reached for his firearm again, but the holster was empty. He heard a click, the gun’s safety audibly being taken off.

“Don’t turn around, Detective. Hands where I can see them,” a deep voice said, heavily modulated by some machine. Goro took a deep breath and raised his left arm. 

“I would rather not drop the cat, if that’s okay,” he said to the intruder. 

“I’m sure Mona appreciates it.” The intruder said, and made a quick whistle sound. The cat wriggled in Goro’s hold, getting up to his shoulder, and jumping off, presumably toward the intruder. Goro raised his other hand. 

“A cat burglar using a trained cat. Quite the trick,” Goro said. The intruder laughed. 

“Clever, right?” The intruder laughed. 

“What do you want?” Goro cut the bullshit, annoyed by the care-free attitude of his perpetrator. 

“I might have been an idiot enough to think I wasn’t going to fall from a ceiling that had heavy and hidden water damage,” the man, and Akechi was certain it was a man now, “but I’m no fool Detective Goro Akechi. I’m not telling you anything.” 

“If you’re aware of my reputation, then surely you know that I’ve caught criminals bigger than you, with less evidence?” He asked. 

“Yes, but I imagine it would be a very hard and expensive feat for a minor crime. You’ve not even seen me.” 

“Your fall is most likely on camera, thief,” Goro remarked. 

“I have friends in high places. Those cameras are on loop,” he said. 

“Even so, it won’t be hard to identify you. Approximately 175 centimetres tall, 67 kilos, between nineteen and twenty one years old. Nice job on obscuring your face however.” 

“Your reputation indeed proceeds you Detective,” the thief said. 

“I can see you in the window, faintly enough,” he said, “Furthermore, I am willing to bet your motive in robbing a police station is information. Likely someone big, seeing as the most important cases are kept right here in the director’s office. Why, I can’t say. But if you tell me, I know a very good defense attorney,” Goro said. 

“I’m impressed,” the thief said with a chuckle, “You’re clearly much more than a pretty TV face for the Tokyo PD.” 

“Thank you,” Goro said. “Now, how about we give me back my gun, and I’ll see about getting my defense attorney friend to take on our case, hmm? I’m sure it’ll be a short sentence.” 

“Sorry Detective, not a chance.” Goro heard the gun cock, and felt ice slip down his spine. “It’s a shame I’ll have to shoot my high school celebrity crush, but I’d rather not return to prison. For what it’s worth, it’s for a good cause.” 

The sentence almost had Goro visibly double take with how much he had to unpack. High school crush? Prison, _again?_ What kind of universe!? It was silent for a moment as the information was processed and then Goro started to laugh.

“I can’t believe… what a way to go. Good cause?” Goro laughed, “Man I can’t believe this knowledge will die with me too. The riot the media would have, knowing I was murdered at the hands of a fan.” 

The thief sighed. “If it helps you to know, my comms director is also dying of laughter in my ear.” 

“Oh it does. Now you have people implicated in your crime for me to track down.” Goro stopped laughing, but the smile didn’t leave his face. 

“Oh but I thought I made it clear Detective. You’re not walking away from this alive,” the thief said, and the good humor left. 

“Maybe not. But suffice it to say the recording I’m taking will be enough to start someone competent in this office looking for you. You’re murdering the Detective Prince after all.” 

“Recording…. Fuck,” the thief swore, and Goro smirked. 

“I won’t gloat, but this situation seems to get worse for you, the longer you avoid the easy outs I’ve offered you.” 

“Navi?” The thief said, ignoring Goro. 

“It’s unfortunate, but I doubt your hacker friend can get you out of this. A police phone takes awhile to crack, and mine harder in particular, and the longer you stay, the more in trouble you get.” Goro continued to stand in silence, hoping that the man wouldn’t shoot him and then break his phone. Destroying his phone would be enough to get the thief out of here with little evidence, but he had already been flustered by getting caught, and Goro seemed to have finally struck a chord. Indeed it would be a pity he died here, but for whatever reason, he hadn’t been afraid of the thief behind him. He hadn’t shot him yet, which a serious murderer would have done right off the bat. He was just a petty thief, probably trying to erase whatever little criminal record he had, and probably didn’t have the guts. 

“Excellent.” The thief said after a few minutes. Those words did not give Goro confidence. He didn’t reply. 

“Okay Detective, here’s what we’re going to do. The cameras in this office are no longer on loop, and are recording everything happening here. Audio too, right? Which means that recording of yours can’t be tampered with. Now I’m going to tell a story, tell me if it sounds correct.” 

Goro was thoroughly confused at this point. But a glance at the corner camera saw that it was moving and the light was red, recording. He couldn’t say if it was before, he was more concerned about the broken ceiling. 

“Once upon a time, Goro Akechi was a good student, whose grades got him into Kosei, a very prestigious high school, and with his cleverness, earned himself a spot as a consultant with the Tokyo PD. He gained fame as an idol after solving unsolvable cases, and was branded the Second Coming of the Detective Price. Since then, he attends a prestigious college and has become an actual detective, putting a good face on the police.” 

“Yes, that’s public knowledge. Your point?” Goro said after his pause. 

“What a boring story. No action, no hardship.” The thief said, “It’s lacking so much and yet the public eats it up. I wonder what they would say to this version. Once upon a time, Goro Akechi didn’t actually exist until late one night, only a mere six years ago. Registered to a public Children’s Home in Tokyo. Despite the registry, he has no school records from the home, until his freshman year of high school at Kosei. His parentage is not on any family registry, and in fact there seems to be no familial connections found anywhere. _Furthermore,”_ the thief said, and Akechi was sweating now as he mocked him, “My friend tells me you receive an anonymous and quite generous allowance in your bank account every month, which allows you to pay for anything you need, but which comes in the form of unmarked checks. Plus, who the hell even lets a random teenager wander onto a murder site in the first place, even if he solved it miraculously easy? No one sane unless he was supposed to be there in the first place. So that calls into question, who really _is_ Goro Akechi, hmm?” 

Goro swore under his breath. Whoever this thief had helping him was clearly VERY good at their job. “So what?” The detective asked, at a loss. 

“So, where does the money come from? The connections? To introduce the police force in the first place? The tuition paid for at Kosei? Your scholarship wasn't a full ride. And you don’t have any rich parents funding you. Or at least acknowledging you in the first place. Which means Tokyo’s golden police boy, must be up to some shady shit to get ahead of his own accord, or more likely that he’s being used by someone else to get ahead.” 

“What if I was?” 

“Then poor sixteen year old me would be crushed obviously. He already didn’t trust the police to begin with, but the pretty face he watched on TV too? Devastated.” 

“I hate to break it to sixteen and twenty-something year old you, but no one’s perfect.” 

“All well. It’s nice to imagine sometimes.” The thief chuckled, irritating Akechi. 

“So, now you’ve destroyed my phone recording by getting a second copy, making it impossible for me to tamper with evidence, and catching us BOTH on camera sending you to jail and destroying my reputation at the least. What’s your next move, thief?” 

“Cooperating with a criminal Akechi? That’s illegal.” 

“I’d rather not be dead, and I’ve gathered you don’t want to be caught, AND you don’t want to shoot me, otherwise we wouldn’t have had this exchange in the first place, and frankly my arms are exhausted. Cut the bullshit, what do you want?” 

“I want your help.” 

“How? And what makes you think you can trust me?” 

“I don’t know. Just a little bit of hope that finally getting a police connection would help make revenge a lot easier.” 

“Revenge?” 

“Revenge. I said this was for a good cause, didn’t I?” The light-hearted tone that had dominated the thief’s attitude since this started shifted, and instead all Akechi could process was pure hatred. Akechi processed again that if this thief was willing to risk his life to break into the SUI director’s office for information and was now willing to risk murder to get it, that this was no shits and giggles operation. Hell he had a _hacker_ able to track his history on his side, which Shido had made very sure was hard to do. 

“Even if I did agree, how can I trust you won’t just release this recording and skip town?” Akechi asked. 

“Hmmm, you’re right. Tell you what. I’ll let you keep your recording. At any point in this deal if you’re unsatisfied, I’ll let you rat me out. But in return I keep yours. And we go down together.” The ice cold drip of the thief’s voice struck a chord, and Akechi found himself laughing. Honesty took it’s sharp talons and clawed its way out of his lungs.

“What’s so funny, detective?” The thief asked, confused, and Akechi battled for air. 

“I … ah … I’ll take your deal!” Akechi rasped, his personality flipping on its head. “I’ll do you one better! Help me get revenge, and I’ll make sure you get yours!” 

The thief was silent as Akechi recovered his breathing, until the only sound that could be heard was the very faint din of Tokyo’s nightlife below. 

“Deal,” said the thief. “I appreciate the enthusiasm, but why?” 

“Did you think you’d ever be this deep in shit thief? Fucked over to the point that the only way out is by fucking up the ones who got you there in the first place?” 

“No, but I can’t say I regret I’m here,” the thief behind him replied. 

“Neither can I. And whether you out me or not - I’m not going to stop until I win. I might as well accept the help.” Goro declared. 

“Then it appears you and I are two sides of the same coin.” The Thief behind him moved, and suddenly a warm chest was pressed against Goro’s back, and a warmer red glove tucked the gun back into his own hand. Goro stopped breathing. 

“I’ll be in contact,” he said into his ear, and then suddenly the physical contact was gone. 

Goro wheeled around, and couldn’t see a trace of where the thief went. He let out a breath, and re-holstered his gun. He moved to leave the office, wondering if he should lock it up, when a voice sounded from above. 

“For the record, sixteen year old me is a fool.” 

“Wait, what the fuck, why?” Goro said, wheeling to glance at the ceiling tiles hiding the voice. 

“That precious Detective Prince sticht is lame. That angry Akechi Goro is much sexier.” Goro scoffed and the thief laughed, and then there was silence. 

Goro mused what the fuck he was going to do about the open and unlocked door, and the ceiling break. But he came to the conclusion that he should just lock up, go home, and then come what may in the morning. He’ll know soon enough if his encounter with that disaster of a thief would bite him in the ass soon enough. 

* * *

_ >JK: Are you hearing this shit? _

_ >C: Unfortunately yes. I cannot find a suitable way to ask the driver to turn it off. _

Goro sighed as the news drug on. Shido must have had it written somewhere that he wanted his dead body paraded through every street in Tokyo. 

_“Masayoshi Shido will forever be regarded as a life cut-off too soon. It is well known that he had no connected surviving family during his political career. He considered himself married to the work of governmental reform, and a father to Japan’s rising young adult community.”_

_ >JK: It’s entertaining to think he can hear all this from hell. _

_ >C: Hmmm, that is a pleasant thought. _

_“However, as Shido’s Last Will and Testament revealed, he is survived by one, very close, blood relative. Out of respect for the great Prime Minister, they wish to remain anonymous. They can be seen in attendance behind a heavy veil, showcasing their grief. I can only imagine how they must feel at his sudden passing.”_

Goro bit his tongue. More like because he couldn’t keep a straight face. His grin spread from ear to ear. 

_“While Shido’s Will reading was privatized, news sources have confirmed that he left almost all of his fortune to various charities that benefit Tokyo’s orphaned children, as well as portioning out a fair amount to help charities that help homeless teenagers and the department of education. The rest has been left to his last remaining family member.”_

Goro let out an appropriately timed sigh. He could feel the driver observing him from the front seat. Goro shifted, smoothing out his skirt, and then letting his smirk return to his face. In one more short hour the man who caused him a lifetime of grief will be nothing but a painful and victoriously burned memory. 

_ >JK: I can feel your excitement from here. _

_ >C: My I wonder however you could tell. _

_ >JK: Bet I could get you even more excited ;) _

_ >C: Your flirting is terrible. _

_ >JK: Aha what would you be doing if I was in that limo with you ;) ;) ;) _

_ >C: Someone’s a little over eager. _

_ >JK: Said the man who sent me an invite to his newly-willed yacht for a private party not ten minutes after he almost got caught getting it... _

* * *

Goro sat at the diner staring at his phone. It took a week for the media to calm down after the break-in (the break-in he was accidentally a part of.) Another month of silence. Goro had been beginning to think that he had been forgotten. Until… 

_ >UNKNOWN: Be prepared you’re going to be very busy tomorrow. _

Very busy being Kaneshiro, Shido’s number one money supplier, dead on the Tokyo PD’s doorstep. Together with a full written confession of his crimes. Busy for the next month indeed. Shido was more pissed than he’d ever been before. And then another text. 

_ >UNKNOWN: Don’t worry Detective ;) I didn’t forget about you. Family diner, central street Shibuya 7pm on Wednesday? _

_ >Me: How do you know I’m free? _

_ >UNKNOWN: Trust me. If you value our deal, you’ll be there. _

_ >Me: Well aren’t you pretentious? _

_ >ERROR MESSAGE “Well aren’t you pretentious?” NOT SENT. NUMBER DOES NOT EXIST. _

It had been half an hour, and Goro waited patiently for his contact to arrive, but there had been no sign of him. Goro wondered if he was getting played, and further snagged into someone else’s mess he shouldn’t have stuck his nose in. He moved to leave, waving a waiter down for his bill, when his ring tone went off. An unknown number flashed across his screen, and he answered. 

_“Where do you think you’re going Detective?”_ Said the Thief. The vocals were the same, there was no way it wasn’t him. 

“Why do you think?” Goro responded.

_"What, you're not enjoying our date?”_

“Well, no, as it appears I’ve been stood up.” 

_“Oh, how sad. Well I hope you’ll accept my stand-in. Sorry - she’s not very timely.”_

_“You can shut it Joker, not my fault I still get lost on the train systems.”_

Goro stopped at the new voice that chimed in on his call, a female, from the sound of it. The two began to bicker, and the waiter arrived. Instead of the bill Goro ordered a stupid dessert, thinking at least he could make a surprise food post on his old blog, when a girl sat across from him. The dial tone rang over his phone at the same time. 

“You’l have to forgive him, he’s a little stupid for your pretty face,” the girl said. Long orange hair spilled out from underneath a beanie, and a face mask and sunglasses obscured her face. It wouldn’t have been enough to stop him from being able to identify her later, but he supposed it’s the thought that counts. 

“I had gathered as much when he got caught falling from the ceiling.” 

“Enough chit-chat.’ The girl pulled out a manila folder from her backpack, and set it on the table. “I have some questions.” 

“Shoot,” he replied. 

The girl opened the folder, but didn’t speak. One by one she flipped through pages, names, and pictures. Goro quickly recognized the subjects. They were his own targets, and the resulting collateral damage. He was sure he was being shown this, because if he wasn’t before, then he was very sure now that their little group meant business. 

“I can see it on your face, but I’m not trying to prove to you how we’ve got you screwed nine ways to Sunday.” 

“Then what are you doing?” 

“Confirming we’re all after the same target.” She flipped to a certain page and held up a picture of a black haired woman. “She was your first yes?” 

Goro stared at the face of Wakaba Ishikki, the political science researcher who pulled him off the streets and tried to use him as blackmail to get Shido to step down as the SUI Director. She was kind enough, but Shido’s promise of emancipated freedom seemed a little more solid at fifteen. 

“Yes,” he said to her, and thought he saw, ever so slightly, a wet tear streak down past her overly large sunglasses and into her face mask. 

“Why?” she said, and then Goro knew who he was talking to. 

“I’m sure I couldn’t give you a satisfying answer,” he replied. There was a beat of silence as she contemplated his face behind her glasses. 

“That’s fine,” she said. “It confirms that I know who you’re working for anyway.” She stuffed the picture away, and brought up another one. 

“And him? I do need an answer for this one. It’s fundamental to the financial part of our relationship.” She held up a picture of Kunikazu Okumura. 

“He threatened to cut off funding to my employer and expose himself as one of the men responsible for a string of deaths in the restaurant world about three years ago. Of course you understand why that couldn’t happen at the time.” Goro grit his teeth. “You can tell his heir that she better be grateful my employer had me off her fiance at the same time too. I hold no pity for them.” 

Orange Hair seemed to smirk. “Connection confirmed and don’t worry - she’s been over it awhile. Mr. Detective, we’re in business.” She stowed the folder away, and pulled out a lunch box. It was old, beat up, and had Featherman on the front. “Open that when you get home and call the number he’s about to give you.” And with that she stood and breezed out the door way. 

Goro let out a sigh as she watched her go, and wondered if _ever_ he would have the upper hand in these situations. But the lingering question of “ _he who?”_ rang through his brain with hope. After a few beats, it appeared no one further was coming. 

He let out a sigh, just as the waiter walked by his table and placed the bill down on his table. He flipped it open and glanced down, surprised to see it already paid, and indeed. A number, and note: 

_Steak and Coffee, made with love ;)_

_Best not to be seen together right now_

_But I didn’t forget - Here’s dessert._

_xxx-xxxx_

_Joker_

* * *

“Do you believe in fate?” Goro asked one night over a strategy phone call.

“I mean, to an extent.” Joker responded. For the first time since they started talking, Joker’s voice was unmasked. It wasn’t helping Goro’s current crush on the thief. He still didn’t know his name. 

“Why only to an extent?” Goro asked. 

“Well because fate can align situations, but if you’re not smart enough to take advantage of it, then you can’t say it was really fate now, can you?” Joker chuckled, making Goro’s heart flutter. 

“Then you don’t count our meeting as fate?” Goro asked, pushing down the shivers Joker caused him. 

“Well of course I do. But if I had just decided to scurry away in the vents instead of waiting to see if the cute detective working late would catch me, then we wouldn’t be here.” Joker was a _terrible_ flirt, Goro thought. 

“You make it sound like fate depends on one man’s decision. What if I had decided to keep working at my desk? Rather than investigate the strange noises you were causing?” Goro couldn’t help but play devil’s advocate. 

“Then I would have gotten away with my info, and we would have continued to work toward the same goal without knowing.” Jokers tone dropped flat, as if the thought disappointed him. 

“If that’s the case, then would it be fair to say that fate would have arranged our meeting another way?” Goro asked. 

“Who’s to say? You can’t predict fate, but I sure hope we would have run into each other again.” Joker’s grin was audible through his phrasing, and Goro felt like he knew exactly what it would look like, even if they’d never met face to face. 

“Hmmm. You’re so intriguing. You always give me new things to think about.” Goro responded. 

“You flatter me, Detective. While Navi’s scrambling our phone call - can I ask you a question?” Joker asked. “What are you planning on doing after Masayoshi Shido is dead?”   
  


* * *

“Surprisingly enough a two-time prison record does NOT impress the ladies.” Joker’s deep mechanical voice sounded over Goro’s earpiece as he snuck around the back of the courthouse. He had to admit - he was not expecting tech that exceeded government level weaponry when he opened the Featherman lunchbox Navi had given him. But he should expect no less of Wakaba Ishikki’s daughter. The earpiece scrambled his own speech, and glasses made it so he could see the heat signatures of those inside, preparing himself for a simple breaking and entering. 

“You’re only bitter because she would later become a supermodel.” Navi cackled.

“Nah, I’m bitter because she called me out on being gay for someone else at the time.” Joker replied. 

“Oh, is that when you first discovered you had a crush on Crow?” Noir’s sweet voice asked.

“SHUT.” But Joker laughed anyway. 

“Less chat and more focus team.” Goro said with an eye roll. _Children_. “Everyone in place?” 

“Almost. I’m waiting for these guards to pass.” It went quiet as Joker moved into position. Goro stood crouched in the air vents above the notary offices. Shido’s personal lawyer paced around his office on his phone call. Navi had fucked with the train’s schedule. And now he was going to be late to a meeting with Shido. Shido was understandably annoyed. 

“Ready.” Joker said, and then Goro could feel the bomb go off.

Commotion erupted in Goro’s eardrum, as he dropped behind the lawyer’s desk, as the lawyer ran out the door to obey the fire alarm. Goro scurried under the desk, banging his fist along the particle wood, until a panel fell away. Behind it was a safe. 

“Navi, you have a code for me?” 

“I have a couple close guesses. But it’s manual so I can’t say for sure.” 

“Alright hit me.” 

“02 - 34 - 98. If not that then 12 - 18 - 17.” Goro twisted the dial as Navi talked, and pulled it. 

“No dice on both,” he said. 

“Damn. Try that last one backwards?” Goro pulled. Still no dice. 

The fire alarms stopped. “Navi, I still got nothing,” he said. “And the fire alarms didn’t go off nearly long enough.” 

“I know! Fuck! Remind me why we didn’t do this in the middle of the night again?”

“Because there was a fifty, fifty chance we would need the lawyer to open the safe.” Goro tried listening to the clicks. The first number was 15. 

“We might have to have Crow question the lawyer.” Noir said and Navi audibly scrambled in the background to figure out the three digit code. Goro tuned them out. 

The second number was 29. It seemed to be completely random, not something the genius hacker could have guessed. She was yelling at him to get out of there, and they could try again, but he knew their deadline was too close. While this step wasn’t necessary, Goro wanted the pure, spiteful, satisfaction. 

He heard the click. The last number was 2. The safe popped open. "Got it," Goro said simply and heard cheering in his ear. He quickly took the perfectly forged Last Will and Testament of Masayoshi Shido from his jacket, and replaced the real one, swung the door closed, spun the lock, and slipped the wood panel back into place. There wasn’t anything else in the safe to worry about, and now he just had to get out before... 

“I’m so sorry sir. Yes. Yes Sir. We shall continue this conversation another time.” 

_Shit._

Goro didn’t even breathe as he hunkered under the desk, listening to the lawyer walk back into his office. 

“Damn children with no respect, think it’s funny to set off smoke bombs and pull fire alarms.” The lawyer scoffed and Goro listened intently as he paced around the office. “Only have a million other things to do, and now Mr. Future Prime Minister is breathing down my neck. He’s only going to get more death threats, not so sure why he’s concerned about this one…” Goro watched the man’s feet pace in front of him and stop. He opened a drawer and pulled out a book, and then kept pacing. 

The chat in his ear was silent. Everyone was holding their breath. Goro needed to be clever. As long as the lawyer didn’t sit down, he could make it out of here. Luckily enough, they had thought ahead and had Goro wear his regular business casual attire, so that way he could be spotted at the police station shortly after Joker’s bomb went off. 

Breaking into the safe was supposed to be a much faster ordeal. But Goro had worked his way out of tighter spots. He was a hit man after all. 

Goro quickly chanced a peek beyond the line of the desk in the direction the man had headed. Sure enough the lawyer was nose deep in a legal book, facing away from him, but toward the door. Surely a movement as big as a human would attract his attention. But not as big as say - a pawn. 

Goro reached a careful hand up and quietly grabbed a black chess piece from the board at the front edge of the lawyers desk. And threw it toward the door. 

“What the - “ The lawyer dropped his book and went to claim the chess piece. As the lawyer had his back turned, Goro slipped out from the desk, and rolled behind a leather armchair, keeping himself hidden from the lawyers line of sight. The lawyer picked up the black pawn, and looked around the room. Trying to assess how it had gotten near the door. As he moved to place it back on the desk, Goro bolted to the door, all behind the lawyers back, and ducked through the opening. 

Which faced him right at the secretary, glancing up from her phone at the movement. He did his damnedest to look like he was not alarmed. She assessed him for a moment. Before looking back down at her phone. 

“I told him becoming a political lawyer would come to bite him in the ass. Mr. Yachiawa?” She pressed a buzzer on her desk. “The Detective is here to see you.” 

_Holy. Fuck._

“The Detective? Who - oh. Mr. Akechi! Do Please come in, come in!” The lawyer began sweating bullets at the sight of him. “What - wonderful timing, won’t you sit down, and we could have a chat - “ This man must be deep enough in Shido’s pocket to know the particular role that Goro played. Well. This situation was completely within his advantage.

“There will be no need Sir. I only have a few moments. As you know, I am a very busy man.” Goro kept his face schooled.

“Yes, yes, you’re so renowned that the police department must keep you busy - “

“And you’ll also know that I work for some very important, impatient people.” Goro smiled, but it was not nice, and the man stopped rambling at once. Goro wanted to laugh. If the man could have comically melted in his shoes, he would have. He’d have to thank Shido for whatever phone conversation they’d been having previously. If so, he wouldn’t have made Goro’s escape so easy. Of course, in a few weeks time, Shido would be dead. So he wouldn’t be thanking him. 

“I was sent over just to make a little something clear, and I think you’re well aware of that. So I’ll be taking my leave, and I hope you have a pleasant afternoon. I hope for your sake you live to see many more.” Goro gave a little wave, turned on his heel, and exited the office, watching the lawyer sink into his chair, head in his hands. 

Goro’s ear erupted into cheers as he exited the building. 

“Wow Crow, you can be seriously scary. That lawyer had no idea what hit him!” Navi chuckled.

“Crow you are so clever!” Noir agreed. 

“We watched the whole thing from the office camera,” Navi said. 

“Well, I’m glad to entertain.” He responded to the girls, holding his phone to his ear so he DIDN’T look like a lunatic talking to himself. 

“That was the most excellent escape I’ve ever seen in my life, Crow, please marry me.” Joker simped.

“Oh honey you still have yet to take me to dinner!” He responded. There was a gasp in his ear from Noir, and Navi chanting _gimme tea! gimme tea!_ In the background. 

“Oh you’re right, where are my manners? Goro Akechi, will you go to dinner with me?” 

“What a gentleman. If you’ll give me the time and place.” 

“You know how many eyes I’ve got on me. How about after all this is done?” 

“Oh it’s gotta be before that.” 

“That desperate huh?” 

“No, because you and I, Joker, have a date with my new private yacht and at least a few week's worth of alone time after all this is done.” Goro dropped his voice an octave, and there were a few beats of silence. Too much? He wondered. 

And then Noir and Navi began to bust up laughing. 

“OH MY GOD CROW YOU’VE GOT THIS POOR BOY SO WHIPPED!!” Navi screamed. 

“Indeed Joker’s face is a lovely shade of red I don’t think I’ve ever seen on another human being before!” Noir chimed in. 

Goro just chuckled as he heard Joker groan. “You are so hot, it’s so unfair.” Joker gave a little sob, and Goro fought to keep his face from splitting ear to ear. 

“So… how about it?” 

“I’ll see what I can do. We need to hand off the cigars anyway.” 

“Speaking of which - how are the flowers coming along, Noir?” Goro asked, rearing things back to business. Despite his push for dinner, he wasn’t quite ready to give into fantasy just yet. 

“They’re growing quite beautifully! It’s a shame that something so pretty is also so deadly.” 

* * *

They had talked about it at length. Shido had fucked Joker over twice, and Goro a whole life-time. But both parties were sure of their choices. 

“The world is a cruel place.” He once texted Goro, after Goro had asked him why he’d murdered Madrame and Kaneshiro. “I made a mistake, and they chained me to hell. So I decided that I would drag the people that deserved it down with me.”

It was a reasoning that resonated with Goro. 

But nothing seemed cruel enough, for Masayoshi Shido. A quick bullet to the head wouldn’t be satisfying. Torturing him at length seemed impossible either, not after he’d be voted Prime Minister. They didn’t want to leave any trace to themselves and their co - conspirators. So outright assassination and causing public outcry was out. 

In the end it was Noir that suggested poison. It was, after all, the way her father went, and something Goro was skilled at. The only problem was that Shido didn’t trust anyone to serve him drinks unless he poured them. Food was tested as if he were an old English king, paranoid bastard. Goro supposed it was understandable. For as many people as Shido had stacked with him, there was probably double against him. 

So they were going to try a small gift. Something Shido wouldn’t think needs testing. 

“Did you try the cake, dear?” Joker said behind Goro. 

They sat outside a cafe, at two separate tables back to back. Other than a quick shifting of their respective bags, they hadn’t had any obvious contact with each other. Goro had to say though - messy, curly black hair was _definitely_ doing it for him. 

“It was delicious, even if a little sweet,” Goro remarked. “Much like you I suppose.” 

“Like me..?” Joker trailed, chuckling as he took a bite of his own dessert. 

“Delicious, even if a little too good for me,” Goro laughed. 

“Aw, honey, don't be that way.” Joker cooed, and Goro about melted in his seat. 

“It’s true. I can’t wait for this to be over,” Goro sighed. 

“Almost there my dear Detective,” Joker murmured, and then the waiter came over to Goro. He was handed a bill, paid in full by a kind stranger. It made Goro smile. 

“Well, I suppose this will be it for just a few weeks.” Goro murmured. 

“Just a few weeks. Good luck Detective.” Joker remarked and then stood to leave first. He passed Goro who kept his head down, more than accustomed at this point to making sure he couldn’t see Joker’s face. 

“Be careful with your new job,” Goro said to his back as he exited. 

Goro then stood to leave as well, not wanting to be a nuisance by loitering after his bill was paid. He picked up his bag - Joker’s bag but now his bag - and checked inside to leave a tip on the table for the dish hops. And for the cigars for Shido. 

* * *

“After all these years, we are FINALLY victorious Akechi!” Shido barked with laughter in his penthouse suit where he was throwing a private masquerade party for himself and his associates. It had been a week since the election, the country in celebration! A prime minister who would fix the world! 

_If only the public knew,_ Goro thought, _he’s the filthiest history has seen yet. But not for much longer._

After the public celebration and before work began, Shido had decided to throw a rather risque party, for those murderers who helped him get to the top. Akechi included, of course. Couldn’t forget his own son now could he? Of course Akechi had been dodging assassination attempts all week already. Pity for Shido that his friends in high places watched his back, and some of his mafia associates preferred Goro alive. He knew that Shido had to be frustrated, but there was nothing to be done. As far as he knew, Goro was perfectly unaware. 

“It’s all thanks to you Goro! My number one daugh - son!” Shido let out a drunken bray and Akechi gave a polite laugh. The party was long over, everyone passed out or gone home, but Shido was still aware, even if very drunk. But not drunk enough he couldn’t tell what was happening around him. Akechi didn’t want Shido to go without being aware of who was dealing his death blow. He had a certain _masked butler_ to thank for dealing Shido water throughout the night to keep him awake. 

“Indeed Prime Minister Shido,” Akechi agreed as he sat across the couch from where Shido, “however I could have not achieved anything without your brilliant guidance.” 

“Damn right!” Shido shouted, even as he tipped back another shot. Akechi grinned, unable to keep his joy inside. 

“This calls for a toast I think.” Akechi suggested, and Shido raised his glass and called for the masked butler that had been glued to his side all night. On a silver tray, was a glass of dark whiskey, and a gift from Akechi - prime, authentic _La Gloria_ cigars. The butler kept his head down, a mask covering his face much like the rest of the staff had tonight. 

Shido picked up the glass and chugged it before picking up the cigar. “I’ve been waiting for these all night. But I didn’t want to offend until you and I had a moment. They are your _excellent_ gift after all.” Shido raised one of the cigars to his nose and took a long whiff before holding it out to Akechi. 

“Oh no thank you, I don’t wish to smoke.” Akechi waved it away with his signature princely chuckle. Shido shrugged, and didn’t think anything of it, even as he brought it to his own lips. Akechi almost couldn’t breath as nerves and excitement thrummed through his blood. 

“I would say you don’t know what you’re missing,” Shido started, as he waved to his butler to start a light for him, “But to your own health and, aha, _long life_ , Akechi.” Shido smirked at his own inside joke. 

The loyal butler he had hired lit his cigar, and Shido wasted no time taking a long, steady, drag straight into his lungs. 

“To your own health, and... _long life_ , Shido.” Goro stifled his own laughter. Shido gave him a curious look and took another long drag, as his butler walked away. He was off shift now. Plausible deniability, with a few other wait staff witnesses. 

On record Akechi was on a case elsewhere with a fellow Detective who owed him a favor, and the guests were far too drunk when he arrived to be able to accurately recall the evening. 

“It’s such a shame…” Shido started before he began to cough. Akechi let himself smile. 

“Such a shame, _what_ , Shido?” Akechi asked innocently. _It seemed Shido couldn’t stop, oh dear!_

“What the _fuck?_ ” Shido managed to cough out, before he was doubling over, choking on his own air. At this Akechi stood, made sure his gloves were on tight, and waltzed over to where Shido knelt on the floor. Akechi knew what was happening, Noir had explained it to him.

She excelled in breeding all sorts of plants, mostly food, but from time to time odd flowers that suited her interests. There was one particularly beautiful flower called the Hellebore, that when ingested could poison you, causing organ failure and cardiac arrest. But that could take hours or voluminous amounts of consumption. But it was their best shot. A personal gift from Akechi and a scent Shido wouldn’t pinpoint as a poison. So Noir went to work, and this was the test. All else failed, Akechi put a bullet through Shido’s head and let the uproar happen. 

But Noir was a miracle worker. 

Shido convulsed at Akechi’s feet, dying under his uncaring gaze. Shido turned his head to look at Goro, his eyes full of hatred, even as drool leaked from his mouth. Akechi just shook his head. Shido didn’t deserve anymore words from him. 

Shido’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and hands clutched at his chest. He stopped breathing. Akechi gave it a couple minutes, and then tenderly brought two fingers to his _pathetic_ sperm donors neck. 

Shido was dead. 

Akechi picked up the cigar, put it out, and threw it with the other two fakes in the trash. It was inconspicuous enough. On paper it would be simple - cardiac arrest. Probably brought on by weak lungs and too much alcohol. In reality? A very deadly little flower, that with some ingenium, made it’s poison powerful enough to kill the heart in … Akechi checked his watch. Three minutes. Noir should be proud. Not that she would ever need it again. 

And neither would Akechi. 

* * *

“We’re here Miss,” the driver said, and Goro let himself sigh, even as he felt the opposite of what he appeared. His door opened, a red-gloved hand reached inside to help him out. Goro grinned, and took the proffered hand into the cold December afternoon. 

He exited and looked straight into Joker’s… No, Akira’s, face. Those curly locks in a strong face and steel gray eyes took his breath away. As Masayoshi Shido’s last personal assistant, Akira had announced that he was willing to help the only remaining relative on the day of the funeral. It couldn’t be more perfect. He took his arm, and walked with the procession to the funeral pyre. 

“Thank you,” Goro said to him softly, and saw Akira nod, even as Akechi let himself indulge and lean into Akira. He smelled nice, and felt good beside him. He’d been imagining it since the first night they met, when his back had met his chest. 

Goro was aware of the cameras, the funeral director, the call for last words. In reality he was on cloud nine, already fast forwarding to the freedom of this evening. Idiots and faux associates cried over Shido, and the runner-up to the election, a kind and gentle man who deserved it far more, said some kind words and promises for the camera and then stepped down. 

Now it was Goro’s turn, whose only wish was to place flowers in the coffin before it was burned. He was led by Akira’s hand up to the casket, where Akira handed him the arrangement he’d especially chosen. It was beautiful. Baby blue eyes and ugly yellow coltsfoot dandelions ringed around a bed of red and white anemones, and in the center was a single black hellebore. Goro looked into the coffin of his dead father, who looked peacefully laid to rest and Goro smiled. He placed the “fuck you” flowers down without a care, and turned back to Akira, where they dutifully waited as the coffin went up in flames. 

It was over. 

The cameras turned off, the television event over, Japan moving on. A few at a time the guests left, until Goro and Akira were the one staring last at the dimming flames and pile of ashes. Akira reached over and linked fingers with Goro, who returned his squeeze. In a bold move Akira pulled Goro against him, and reached for the veil. He lifted it just enough to see Goro who gave him a toothy smirk. 

“What, couldn’t wait?” Goro whispered. 

“We’ve waited long enough.” Akira whispered and leaned in to press his lips desperately against Goro’s. Goro pushed back with enthusiasm into their brief first kiss, before Akira pulled away and let the veil fall. 

They left the ashes behind and stepped together, hand in hand, back to the car. 

**Author's Note:**

> Flower Meanings:  
> Black Hellebore - serenity, tranquility and peace. On the other hand, it can represent a scandal. All parts of the flower are poisonous and ingesting it will cause organ damage and cardiac arrest. Beautiful though.  
> Baby Blue Eyes - Victory and Success  
> Red and White Garden Anemone - Poisoning  
> Yellow Coltfoot - Justice 
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/collapsedStarss), [Tumblr](https://collapsingstars-nova.tumblr.com/), [Writing Tumblr](https://paperstarsburst.tumblr.com/)


End file.
